I guess I am whatever is inside this sandwich. An interesting thought to ponder, I guess. Midlife crisis? Maybe. I've been a nurse now for going on nearly two decades. What do I want to be doing for the next 20 or 30 years? My heart yearns toward writing and speaking, yet I very much enjoy my job which gives me extensive flexibility and a stable paycheck. Do you really ever know if you are at a crossroads until you have passed it? What I do know is that I was certainly called by God to be a mother. That has to continue to remain the number one priority. Secondly, I have been put in a position to minister to my parents. What an honor and a privilege it is to help the very people who gave so much for me. But what about that third piece of the pie? (Or in this case, sandwich!) What is that supposed to be right now? Continue as I have been? Add the writing and speaking piece in addition? It would be so nice if God would use email to convey his will! But I know that part of the maturing and growing is going through the process to discover what his will is in our lives.
I do think that there are a lot of opportunities that exist to help educate people about this disease and how to best help those suffering from its effects, but are still able to be out and in the community. I do believe that since many people don't know what to do or how to do it, they just choose to do nothing at all. Their fear of doing or saying the wrong thing causes them to not do anything at all. Those closest to the Alzheimer's patient often confuse their ignorance (and I'm using that term as it is defined; please do not confuse it with stupidity) with insensitivity.
Yesterday I received a wonderful book in the mail. It is titled, Creating Moments of Joy by Jolene Brackey. I was unable to locate it at my local bookstore, but was able to order it through Amazon.com. I was completely hooked after just a few pages. I wish that today I had the time to just sit down and devour the book in its entireity. It is nothing short of amazing. It is humorous, light-hearted and REAL. It gives practical insite into how to best bring joy to the Alzheimer's patient and subsequently those closest to them. If you know ANYONE who has suffered from this disease, it is a must read. I am so thankful to the family who recommended it to me. Up until this point, I became nauseated everytime I even picked up a book on the subject of Alzheimers. This book is different and leaves you yearning for more.
Last night my nine-year-old daughter asked me if Nanny would be able to come to her wedding. I had to answer her that I did not think Nanny would be able to do that, but that perhaps when we are in Heaven, God allows us to have glimpses of those we love when they are so happy. She burst into tears and exclaimed that she wanted Nanny to see her in her wedding dress! I just held her tight and she cried while I prayed; for her, for my mom, for wisdom in how to guide my children through this. I absolutely hate it when kids bring up things for which you have NO ANSWER and can't even give them anything that makes any logical sense to you, let alone their little minds. Finally, I settled on sharing with her that my sister Joyce, who was premature and passed away the same day she was born, needed a turn with Nanny. I shared with her how we have had Nanny all these years and Joyce would get to have her for a few years before we all got there and had an eternity to spend together. This brought a huge smile to her face. "I never thought about it like that", she said.
This brings me back to the half of the sandwich that remains my number one responsibility; my children. The part of the sandwich that remains in between the slices of bread is still evolving, changing and growing. Stay tuned...
Beautiful!
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