Why is Parenting Scary?

Many of you would reply to the title of this post with something about parenting being scary because kids are scary!  Well, I would probably give you that one.  Sometimes my children scare me to death! I remember like it was yesterday and they were five, three and an infant.  It was so much work; diapers, potty training, teaching them to control their bodies AND their mouths made it exhausting.  Specifically, I remember wanting that stage to be over and for all of them to be able to tie their own shoes and go to school ALL DAY! Fast forward almost a decade and I'm suddenly wishing it to slow down! I realize that I have but a short three and one-half years with my oldest and she will be off to college. My days of significant influence in her life is probably over for awhile, at least.  Yes, my influence is still there, but she more likely now looks to her peers, mentors and teachers whom she admires. (Thankfully she has very Godly role models or this would be even scarier!)

However, something my pastor pointed out on Sunday was that the scariest moments in his "pastoring career" came with the realization that someone was actually LISTENING!  The responsibility that brings is tremendous and scary!  Someday, as Pastor Clark said, I will have to stand before God and give an account for anything I said in representation of Him! Yikes! Could it be that is what scares me the most about parenting?  That they actually ARE listening? And are they only listening when I don't really want them to be listening? When I am handling disappointment or frustration what are they hearing? Are they hearing that I trust God to take care of me or are they hearing that I think my problem is too big for God to handle?

What if they are really listening? Perhaps that is also where some of my frustration lies?  They are listening and therefore when they do not handle situations as I would like it may be only because they are doing exactly what I do? Scary, indeed. 


What if much of my fear lies in the brevity of it all?  Will she be ready to be out on her own? Let me tell you, my kids think I am a "mean" mom.  I believe that it is my job to allow them to do as much for themselves as possible.  By the time they are somewhere into their senior year of high school, my goal is that they are governing themselves, doing their own laundry, able to prepare a meal, balance their checking account and set their own curfew.  I don't know if I will succeed in all that and I am certain that even if I do I will fail in other areas.  But it remains a goal I have for my kids.  I don't want to send them out with no ability to handle themselves.


Parenting is without a doubt the scariest, most wonderful, most frustrating, most incredible thing I have ever participated in.  One of my favorite sayings is: (And I have absolutely no idea where it came from) "Kids turn out despite us, not because of us."